The art of mothering the mother
40 DAYS after the 9 months of gestation and evolution, the child is born and the parent appears. Given birth and being born are major events whose impact on the lives of a woman and the couple is often underestimated and sometimes overwhelmed. During pregnancy, the mother is followed and accompanied at least medically. During childbirth, she is in most cases surrounded and encouraged. But as soon as she returns from maternity, she often finds herself alone and isolated. She has to face the revolution that follows the arrival of the baby. The adjustment to the new rhythm, the physical recovery, the disruption of the hormones that follow the "work" of the delivery of a child.The permanent adjustment that breastfeeding requires and all the demands of everyday life. Let us not forget that our female body-giving has an indispensable function which is birth. Following the birth, our state requires special conditions and care to maintain the health, the emotional and relationship balance with the baby, the companion and the older children. These conditions are necessary for our overall well-being, in order to be "fit" and take good care of our children.
Give and Receive
A mother who agrees to receive help has the resources to, in turn, give her baby care with greater ease, patience and calm. During the first 6 weeks postnatal, the mother needs rest in order to recover from the intense labor of childbirth. Her pelvis is recovering and she must not wear anything except her newborn to regain its strength. The uterus also needs rest to heal the wound caused by the expulsion of the placenta. All the physical and hormonal changes affect the emotional state of the new mother and make her hypersensitive and vulnerable. After giving birth, the mother needs to be in a protected, maternal and safe environment.The baby after nine months in the womb changes "planet". He is separated from the mother's womb and seeks to find unity with his mother. The baby must now get used to the new workings of his lungs and intestines. Polarized sensations of cold and heat, hunger and satiety, suckling and elimination; with the day/night poles, rhythms of sleep/awakening, touch, light, sounds and noises. A ball of sensations! The newborn is a Being extremely sensitive to sensory stimuli. For him, all senses are amplified and he has no filter or protection. To adapt well, he needs to stay calm for at least 6 weeks, coiled in the aura of his mother, reassured by his presence, in a serene environment, soft lighting and soft sounds. On demand, if we listen to his needs and respect his rhythm, little by little the newborn will learn that life is good.
Recent studies show that 35% of women suffer from symptoms related to post-traumatic stress disorder following childbirth: fatigue, depression, indifference, hyperemotivity, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed. This stress is established when the mother is not supported morally and physically in terms of daily tasks and is not accompanied in the period of adaptation and convalescence. The early bond of attachment between a mother and her infant is fundamental to a happy and balanced life.In the absence of this presence and help, the mother may be exhausted and depressed.Breastfeeding will be less easy to implement, the mother-baby bond will be affected, and marital and family relationships will be weakened. Therefore, it is essential to organize support before delivery.
This help may be provided by a person who dedicates for 40 days (or less) to be present for the mother and the baby, to feed her and help her to keep the house. Either through a social network made up of friends and family members, who organize themselves with a coordinator to cover all the necessary tasks: cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry supporting other children in the family, massage, emotional presence . Do you think this is realistic and achievable ? What is certain is that, it is unrealistic to continue to ignore the postnatal stress that affects so many homes and families. A paradigm shift is possible! That women and men understand the reality and accept to be open to change.
The father is often of good will, takes time off to be present and active at home, to help his wife. But after a dozen days, he must return to work, and the mother is quickly overwhelmed. Even though, he is present, the father can benefit from postnatal support, in order to be more available for his wife and their newborn.
As a result, even if we did not start together prenatal support, I can support you during this sensitive period or help you organize support with your circle.
Each visit will be approximately 3 hours and filled with what you will need: shopping, cooking, cleaning, organization of space, massage, relieving back pain, more widely of the body, supports around breastfeeding, carrying, feeding... Do not hesitate to contact me to invent together, the most suitable support for your needs in the present circumstances.
The Postnatal Support Network
The Postnatal Support Network is a non-governmental organization dedicated to promoting the importance of a well-prepared and restful postnatal period for the first 40 days or more. It is a social and non-medical network, informing future families of this special and delicate moment after birth.As coordinator of the postnatal support network for France, I organize in Montpellier in the spring and fall a 3-day training offered by PSN. This training aims to convey concrete and practical tools to those who want to get involved in support. Three days during which a trainer will transmit you in a practical way, how to support families who are preparing to live this change in their lives. The trainers themselves are professional in the perinatal and have developed a great experience of accompanying this period throughout Europe. On the platform, you can find additional information to organize your postnatal, to put you in touch with our network and to make a request for support or to find via our directory a postnatal doula on your side...
For more information, I invite you to go to the website of the network: